men with mom issues

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5 Mommy Issues Signs In Males & Mommy Issues Symptoms | Magnetize Your Man10 types of emotionally stunned men to avoid Ami AngelowiczAmelia McDonell-ParrySTORY HIGHLIGHTSRELATED TOPICS() -- Let's face it... we all have problems and sometimes we need multiple attempts to overcome emotional obstacles. But some of us are better at dealing with them than others and, we argue, women are often better at working through emotional problems than men.() In recent years of appointments, we have found 10 types of "emotionally stunned" adult men who otherwise can be awesome but for some reason never matured emotionally. These guys are trapped in emotional "playpens" by preventing them from forming healthy (and intimate) adult relationships and where women in their lives are in the position to push them around as little children in a car of babies or shouting "Arise and walk on your own!" before leaving the door. Normally, emotional immaturity is not obvious right away. In the first weeks and months of appointments, as our best beings present, we have found ourselves thinking, finally, a guy who is not emotionally stunned! He's a man, not a man-chimal! But at some point, the curtain retreats as in the "Wizard of Oz" and, yes, their emotional problems are there. Don't misunderstand us: Women can also be emotionally stunned. But we have found that the emotionally stunned man-son will have one of two answers (image) when the subject is brought to his attention:1. "No, I'm not excited! You're the one who has the problem, you little fuck!"2. "This is what I am and I like to be like that. Take it or leave it!" To what we respond, "See you later." And so do you. Here is our round of the top 10 types of emotionally stunned men (often seen in combination), the kind of women they seek, and what they need more than you embrace them a second longer.1. The addict: Oy. Where to start. This is the important thing to remember: The addict will always be looking for a stop. Always. Even if you're sober of drugs/alcohol/gambling/food, if you haven't done "work," you can be hooked.1. The addict: The woman he wants: Someone who drugged him. He's looking for a feeling. Maybe she's the married woman, her high school sweetheart who never thought she was gonna get, or the ex she left years ago. It's all about emotion for him. And once that emotion gets worn... it's fucking for the next one. The woman you want: What you really need: Work through your co-dependent issues and learn how to deal with life on your own before you engage someone else. What you really need:2. The most important relationship a man may have is with his mother. That's why it's bad news if that relationship went wrong somehow. Mom's boy compares all women to her mother. Whether you hate her or are obsessed with her, you are blind to the fact that you are reinterpreting your relationship with your mother with every woman you are involved with.2. Mom's child: The woman you want: Someone who is exactly like your mother or exactly the opposite, depending on the nature of dysfunction. If her mother was hugging and overprotecting, she might want you to change her diaper and wipe her nose. If his mother left him, he may be looking for a lady of company. If your mother expected me to be "the man of the family," she may be looking for a woman who is helpless and needs to take care of. You got the picture. The woman who wants What she really needs: To realize that you are NOT her mother. And, more importantly, understand the dynamic relationship with your mother. If you have trouble working with her, you need to do it before you invite another woman to your life. What you really need:3. The Flounderer: He is unhappy in his career, either because he has not advanced as much as he thought he would or is not what he wants to do, point.3. The Flounderer: The woman you want: Someone to motivate you and caress your ego all the time because you are not getting that kind of love in the workplace. The woman you want: What you really need: To go after what he wants hard and for his own initiative instead of complaining about it all the time What you really need4. The Insecure Narcissist: Initially, this gentleman comes out so confident, believes he is the best in his work, he takes good care of his appearance, and often is the life of the party. But he can't also take a joke at his expense, exaggerate how successful he is, and he's never happy for anyone who's making "better" than he, including the woman he's with.4. The Insecure Narcissist: The woman who wants: Someone who will never challenge him or give him pain, even as a joke. If you do, you will find your insecurities and go to them with a saw, so you have lowered to your level, making you feel better about yourself in comparison. The woman she wants: What she really needs: To stop pretending that it is God's gift to the world and be well being vulnerable, and realize that she is not cheating on anyone with that act anyway. What you really need5. The obsessive race: This is the guy thing: They're not all that big in multi-tasking, but the Obsessive Caregiver is the worst of luck. Its only goal in life is to rise to the top and it is not until it gets there that it will actually be emotionally available.5. The obsessive career: The woman who wants: Someone who understands that success is the most important thing in the world, as long as she is not more successful than he, and will reward her hard work at the office with sexual favors at home when she has a spare time. The opposite of Hero [see No. 6 below], wants someone who doesn't need it emotionally at all. The woman she wants: What she really needs: To realize that a satisfying life is all about balance and an amazing career doesn't keep you warm at night. What you really need:6. The Hero: He loves to go out with a basket case, a woman who has many problems to help her overcome, but that's just so she can avoid dealing with hers. Once more stable, skeletons emerge in your emotional closet and you have to find someone new to save instead.6. The Hero: The woman who wants: A woman who "needs" him and makes him feel strong, capable, meek, and, above all, NOT CRAZY in comparison. The woman you want: What you really need: To find a therapist who can hold a mirror and show her that her own problems should take the top priority. What you really need:7. The Tragic Tom: The tragedy has hit him and he has not been able to recover. While being compassionate with the situation of this type is understandable, trying to save it is a waste of time.7. The Tragic Tom: The woman you want: A woman who will see her marshmallow center under that hardened edge and will be exhausted trying to save her from herself. The woman she wants: What she really needs: Win perspective and learn, on her own, that bad things happen to everyone in some way and the best thing you can do is to advance in your life with lessons learned. What you really need:8. The Commitment Phobe: This guy pretends to be happy by himself, living as a single, like his hero George Clooney, but he's actually terrified of letting a woman know the real one.8. The Commitment Phobe: The woman you want: Someone who will never expect your relationship to evolve beyond the dating stage casually, who will never expect to meet their parents or even necessarily their friends, and will not want to talk about pesky stuff like duels. The woman she wants: What she really needs: To face her insecurities, so she can find out what she's afraid of showing other people and getting over it. What you really need:9. The eternally broken: He has not overcome the girl who broke her heart and holds what he did against any other woman dating in subtle ways.9. The eternally broken: The woman who wants: Someone who reinforces her anger against her ex by committing the same "sins" she did. So you can punish her for the actions of her ex. Unfortunately for both of you, you will never be able to work through your anger completely with that kind of black and white attitude in which you are the only victim. The woman she wants: What she really needs: To find the closure with the woman who "did it," but not necessarily through confrontation. Rather, it needs to look at the disappearance of the relationship objectively so that it is forced to recognize its role and can advance in a new relationship with the baggage (or minimum) no. What you really need:10. The Eeyore: Thank you for noting it, the boring, pathetic, guy in the corner that is not really boring and pathetic. He has the worst attitude of all time. He's always whining for something. Every day is a bad day. Nothing works for him. Everything seems totally impossible for El Eeyore, which makes it all around him unbearable. 10. The Eeyore The woman she wants: Her own personal Pooh bear. That special person who will be his personal cheerleader and spend all his time trying to get him to look on the bright side even though he is completely incapable of seeing life that way. The woman you want: What you really need: To stop feeling sorry for yourself and take responsibility for what happens in your life. The sooner you realize that life is what you do, the sooner you will have a much-neededed company in your bed. What You Really Need ← All Rights Reserved

Men and the wound of the motherWhat is a mother's wound? A mother wound can be considered as an injury to a child's psyche as a result of significant dysfunction or disorder in relation to the mother. In some cases, it is the result of the absence or lack of availability of a mother due to death, disease, adoption or other circumstances that dramatically separate the child from the mother. But more typically, a mother wound is a complex of psyche injuries of the child received for many years, often as a result of the mother acting consciously or not, by her own wound. One of the most severe classes of mental wounds occurs when the main function of the child in the relationship is to be used by the mother to meet her own narcissistic needs. How are men affected? The complex internal dynamics associated with such a narcissistic maternal wound can have multiple effects and consequences that extend deeply into a man's core, mature outward in all areas of his life and diminish his ability to possess and express his sexual energy and power in the healthy and creative ways necessary to develop and maintain successful long-term relationships of love and a life of authentic, sincere and meaningful work. Healthy ownership and expression of your sexual energy and power, in relation to yourself and others, is a challenge for many men, especially those who spend their childhood with men who abuse or avoid their own sexual energy and power. The challenge of healthy property and expression of male sexual energy is also greatly amplified in a culture in which male sexuality is routinely denigated and demonized. A mother without knowing it can complicate the matter even more for some men. The healthy desire of loving union with a woman in a sexually expressive relationship can be easily short-circuit, eclipsed by a deeply sense but ultimately erroneous romantic idealism that opens the door to repeat repeated repeated repetitions of maternal injury. A Mother Pearl (particularly if it is maintained or hidden below the level of consciousness) can also predispose a man to the vulnerability and susceptibility to dark or negative aspects of the female, as well as to condition it in the blindness and acceptance of behaviors of women in their life that they express. It can even seek and be attracted to women who embody elements on the female shadow side without being aware that she is doing it or understanding why. And it can be hard to stop. An unresolved mother wound can also make a man susceptible to feeling and/or being embarrassed by women for their vulnerability, regardless of their intentions towards him. A well-intentioned woman can often turn off an emotionally vulnerable man by inadvertently activating her beautiful Mother without even knowing it, then feel completely mythified about what happened and why. And man can't tell him because he doesn't know. This has obvious negative consequences and consequences for the relations between men and women. Finally, I see men culturally conditioned to trust women with whom they are intimate to meet all or most of their deep emotional needs. This is another expression of the unresolved wound in men and in culture itself: adult men who need, wait and encourage to be breastfeeded by wives and lovers. This is bad for both men and women, especially when treatment is not recognized, implied, and unconscious. The wounded men often seek women to heal them, and women can be great helpers and allies, but projecting the needs of the unmet mother (and related psychic injuries) to a woman is a recipe for disaster for both men and women. Why do men avoid their Blessed Mother? The awareness and recognition of his mother wound is typically a huge taboo for a man (as it is for almost any male wound by a woman). Most children have been trained and are expected to protect their mother and feelings at all costs. Fear can also be a significant deterrent. For many men (I incline), there is nothing more frightening (or unthinkable) than looking at their own Motherly Herds. I know my Father has turned out well. It hurts, but it doesn't scare me. My mother terrifies me. It feels like a well from which there is no return. My Mother's Bear is equally deep in her own way as my Father Herido, but much of it is hidden in the weeds and shadow kingdoms of my psyche. Finding their various elements and aspects, seeing them, and recognizing them for what they are is a complicated job. Central truths have not been so easy to access, and domestic and social prohibitions against doing so make it feel incredibly risky even to try. Elements of culture have amplified, and continue to amplify, the condition that I received as a child that women (especially mothers) are inherently virtuous, self-sacrificial and morally infallible, making a hard slog through the dark female world in my own even harder psyche. But this is the work I have to do, even if I feel that I am doing it imperfectly, if I have any chance of being complete, mature and complete as a man. Why is Mother Wound's work important? Mother Wounds who hide without recognizing and without healing in men not only hurts men. They also hurt women and children throughout culture. Often it seems that we are flooded with an apparently infinite sequence of stories about misogyny, abuse and violence inflicted on women by men, accompanied by equally indefinite comments on the causes. But the only factor I almost never see included in these discussions is this: Many of these men are being driven, at least in part, by the powerful and unconscious emotional energy of an unresolved mother's wounded. Until we are ready as a culture to explore and address the causes and implications of that, I don't think we're going to get too far to address the most dramatic and harmful behaviors that some men exhibit with women. That is the final end of the scale and is not representative of the behavior of most men, but as it was previously explored in this piece, there are many other negative dynamics (if less visible and less dramatic) in the lives of men who develop as a result of unresolved mother wounds. The resulting effects harm women and children, as well as men themselves, although impacts for all can be less obvious, more subtle and play for longer periods of time. We simply cannot have an emotionally and psychologically healthy society without emotionally and psychologically healthy men. Men who are driven by the emotional and psychological energy of unconscious and unresolved mothers will continue to suffer, and their suffering will continue to mature in their relationships and culture in general, until their needs are recognized, honored and addressed in a meaningful and effective manner. Do the job For the reasons previously articulated in this piece, it has taken me many years to begin to enter my own work of the Herida Mother, and I still find it very difficult. The hardest part, apart from the fear I mentioned, has been the surprisingly deep well of pain that I have found in myself as I have moved to emotional energy associated with the wound. I had the feeling that I was there, but having a sense of it and actually getting into it (and feeling it) are two very different things. It is perhaps the most powerful pain of all: the pain of a child. And he's been driving and influencing my relationships with women, with love, sex and intimacy, and with the female, though unconscious and indirect, for my whole life. I know there are other men out there who need to do their own Mother Wound work and I hope they find ways to do it. Any man who is consciously working actively on his Beautiful Mother deserves support, understanding and patience. Faced with one of the most powerful and deeply rooted taboos of our culture, it is drawing a new necessary and critically important route through largely unexplored territory for other men and making part of the most courageous and critical work in the arena of modern masculinity. Image: "Walm mother" by (original photo) and Rick Belden (processed image). Used for permission. More:

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